My friends and I  make rap music.

THE FINE ART OF GYM DOUCHERY AND THE RA-TARDS THAT MAKE IT ALL POSSIBLE

As many of you who happen to glance your newsfeeds on your social media havens at around 6:30 PM you happen to know what I’m doing pretty much every day during the week. CARDIO-A-MOTHA-FUCKIN-GO-GO…..BITCH! (I just like typing that). And I’m not one to go to the gym with a workout partner, try to spit some game to bitches or whatever 63.83% of the toolbags that go to the gym do….i put my headphones on, and shut out the world for 2 hours while i get after it. Now I’ve been going to the gym since Feb. and I’ve people watched ALOT and some people who go to the gym amaze me/ make me laugh / make me wanna beat them with a garbage bag full of lava lamps.

I would like to dedicate some truth bombs to some people who are some special kinda somethings.

• If the extra flesh you have suspended from your body can’t be held up by gravity, it certainly can’t be held up by spandex, it’s just looks like you are smuggling cottage cheese.
• if you are considered obese, you should consider not wearing spandex…..EVER! It’a a magical fabric and you are fuckin ruining it you swamp donkey.
• if you make yourself up like a hooker to go the gym when you’re flying solo, but then make yourself down to look like you got hit in the face with a ball of “what the fuck” when you roll with your toolbag boyfriend, your just ruining it for me, embrace your whore at all times, it just makes my experience a little better.
• There is no way there are that many mixed martial arts fighters in Middletown NJ…so leave your Tapout shirts at home, you’re an idiot.
• If you are wearing a polo shirt and Fimberlands to work out, you should be raped by a sexual frustrated tiger.
• The only thing worse then wearing a Ed Hardy bedazzled shirt in public is wearing one to work out in, i hope the cheap ass jewels on you stupid fuckin shirt rip you nipples off and you bleed out enough to die.
• Yea dood…. your workout partner probably blows you….it’s cool.
• Hey you old bitch! stop leaving your fucking circulars with Adult Diaper ad’s circled on the elliptical, it’s not a fucking magazine rack, and being i know you shit yourself, i certainly don’t wanna touch your fuckin papers.
• Eyyy yo tribal tattoo douchfart! Running for 3 min on the treadmill isn’t doing cardio, why don’t you stick to taking newport breaks inbetween reps and hand jobs from your meathead friend.
• Stop waiting for girls to walk by so you can flex in the mirror, we know you work out bro.
• if you are gonna walk at a speed of 2.3 and read a book on the treadmill, i fuckin hate you.
• If you are gonna walk at a speed of 2.3 on the treadmill and text for the 7 min you walk on it, then leave, you will remain an overweight monster…..FOREVER!

Thats it for part one of my rant….stay tuned for more pee pee’s!

“QUIT CHEATIN’ BITCH!”

This needs to be crunked, screwed, rabble rabbled, flip floped, skeebopped immediately!

Why the hell would you recording yourself playing a video game, with this absurd reactions then post it on the internet?! ……FOR MY AMUSEMENT!

THIS MODERN DAY WILDERBEAST…..

Needs to get hit by a fuckin’ truck and get off pop cultures radar. Seriously, I’ve had enough of this mexican-esq oompa loompa, since when did disgustingly ugly people get famous? I miss the vain and pretentious world where you had to be insanely good looking to get any kind of fame or notoriety. So thanks morons who watch this show and feed the demon, you’re really doing your due diligence in making the rest of the world hate us.

If you look forward to watching the “Jersey Shore” (STOP CALLING IT THAT! I’ve lived in NJ my whole life and you know where i go on the weekends? THE FUCKING BEACH!), then i look forward to you getting a flunutrazepam surprise from some greased up, glittered tapout shirt wearing, orange faced, fuckin douchebag down in BELLLMAAAAHHH, or for the guys some leather faced, bump it having, exceeding the maximus weight limit for spandex sea turtle, and then having to make that call to Benson and Stabler in the morning. 

Fuck you and fuck the “Jersey Shore” (STOP CALLING IT THAT!) 

Well thank you TV news for making the rape of a girl living in the projects into some kind of broke assed wrestling promo from this jobber Antione Dodson……or does Teck Holmes from the Real World Hawaii have a new mailing address?

Like what kind of reaction was this TV station hoping to get other then 7 million youtube hits, an auto tuned remixing and some witty and borderline racist youtube comments? Isn’t there oil in the water somewhere you can report on? YOU SUCK!

Run and tell dat………… Lincoln Park!

I’ve been singing this tune all freakin day.